My Baby You'll Be

This is my first baby, Ozzy.  Long before I had biological babies, Ozzy stole my heart with those soulful eyes and just-love-me-into-a-cuddle-coma attitude.  It didn't hurt that at the shelter, he peed on my husband to solidify the bond that he belonged to us.

At the time, we weren't looking for another dog, just a hamburger at the Wendy's next door to the shelter.  Isn't that how it always happens, though?  You can't actively look for love, it will find you when you least expect it.  Especially if you order the cheeseburger combo with a side or adoptable adorable.

Yes, my first baby weighed in at about 7 pounds and 15 inches long, with the shelter given name of Little Man, but we knew that had to change.  On the car ride home, my husband and I debated the name game, and you know how that goes.  He loves Barney, you hate it.  You love Fitz and he threatens to crash the car.  So we turned on the radio while we brainstormed.  "I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy traaaainn...."  We both started bobbing our heads.  There's nothing a little Ozzman can't fix.  Wait a minute!  Yup, loved the name.  And his name was Ozzy and he was perfect.

You know how you're not supposed to pick favorites?  Well, I did and so did Ozzy.  I couldn't go anywhere without a little Ozzy shadow and even if he was all cuddled up with my husband on the couch, as soon as I sat down, he'd bolt over and cuddle into me.  We were soul mates.  In fact, we were so attached at the hip, that he was, unfortunately, standing under me when my water broke as I was getting out of the bathtub (pregnant with my first daughter).  Oh memories.

Over Twelve years, two moves and two kiddos later, Ozzy grew old, grey and content.  We found out in December that Ozzy had kidney stones and a herniated bladder (an injury he likely incurred when he took on a raccoon several years ago.  PS, Raccoon 1 - Ozzy 0).  The corrective surgery would have been about $4K, but due to his age (guesstimated about 14 years) and his grade 4 heart murmur and collapsing trachea, he wasn't a great candidate for surgery.  Even if he survived the surgery, he would likely have had heart failure.

Naturally, I was devastated by this news.  We held out hope that with a diet change and healing thoughts, Ozzy might turnaround.  And he did, for about two weeks.  Long enough to "snuzzle" (my daughter's word) a little longer, and for my kiddos to come to terms with the inevitable loss.  Three days before Christmas, my baby died and I've been in limbo ever since.

I've researched stages of grief, and I've checked off anger (sorry Family) and guilt.  I had the

hardest time telling people that my dog died, when really, I felt like I had killed him by taking him in to the vet and letting her do it.  This was all magnified by the fact that I was holding him the entire time (Husband and girls went to get burgers.  I now see the irony).  I felt it only right that I be the one with him, given that he was mine and I was his.  I've now entered the annoyingly persistent phase of depression and honestly, have a hard time believing there's an end to it.  Like reading the Twilight books, but for real.

I didn't write this with the intent to throw a pity party or hear another "I'm so sorry for your loss," but more because I've come to realize that this level of grief is something I'm completely unfamiliar with and I hope that writing this down will somehow be therapeutic.  I've lost loves in the past (most notably my grandfather a couple of years ago) but this sense of loss is so overwhelming that it makes me feel guilty I didn't struggle like this previously.  I had no idea it could hurt this much.  I'm turning into a weeping recluse who feels pajamas are a valid wardrobe choice and, on most days, showering is too high maintenance.  Especially since staying in has the awesome appeal of avoiding other people.  To those who know, you've been here, I'm truly sorry, I get it.  To those who don't, I hope you never have to.

There are many people who would say, "He was just a dog" and to them I would say, "I'm sorry you have never experienced unconditional love in the truest sense of those words."  To which they may respond, "Yes, I have.  I have children."  And to that I would reply, "Exactly.  Then you do understand."

Have a Happy. Period.

I admit it. I don't have regular television and thus, only see the commercials on Hulu or in my magazines. As I was flipping through one of my fave mags the other day, I came across an ad that made me think, "What the hell?!" There were so many thoughts going through my head, that I just had to share them.

I realize this ad has been out for a while, but since this is the first time I've seen it, I'm weighing in.
Neon colored tampons and patterned pads, are you serious, Kotex?! First of all, you know what this stuff is for right? And second, who the hell is going to see it? I'm sure every teenage girl is dying to compare tampon colors during polite conversation. "Gee Morganthenia, what color are you wearing today?"

I love that Kotex is advertising this as, "new colors and designs to banish boredom." Really? Boredom? I don't know about you, but when I'm writhing in pain, the last thing I'm feeling is bored, let alone bemoaning my boring white tampon. "OMG, this would be so much better if I had a freakin' blue colored tampon!! Curse you Tampax for your lack of vision!!!"

Am I the only one wondering who the hell thought up this genius idea? Since absurd is the new tampon, I have a couple of ideas too. Might I suggest a glow-in-the-dark tampon? How fun would that be to tell someone, "You wouldn't know this to look at me, but I'm totally glowing on the inside." Or days-of-the-week labeled tampons. "Damn it, I'm all out of Tuesday tampons, I hope no one notices I'm wearing a Friday." Or my personal fave, fortune cookie tampons! Look forward to your period while you look to your future and maybe include lucky lotto numbers too. Have a truly "happy period" with inspirational sayings like, "You will have a bloody good day" and "You will experience relief, in about 5-7 days" or my new favorite, "Congratulations, you're not pregnant!!" Now I'm just waiting for a phone call from the Kotex product development team.

PS, don't even get me started on the new Summer's Eve ad "Power to the V."

It's On!!

Okay, so I know you've heard it before, but this time, it's going to happen! It has to. I'm on a deadline!

I have struuuuuuggled with losing weight for the last two years and since finding out last August that I'm gluten intolerant (though I'm inclined to think Celiac due to the other health issues I've had) my body is finally on board with losing weight too. Woot! I never thought we'd agree.

So, I've been going to the gym 4-5 times a week taking Zumba, spinning and weight classes. Why the sudden motivation? Well, Jim and I finally set the date and we're going to Puerto Vallarta for our 10-year anniversary in August. I've never been to Mexico and so we're both really excited. We're staying in a 5 start all inclusive resort and planning to do a couple of excursions while we're there. I'm really excited for the Outdoor Adventure and Dolphin Experience.

Anyway, on top of eating really well and working out at the gym, I was reading Fitness magazine the other day and they did a write up on great 90 day workout plans. Of course, most people have heard of P90X but most of us can't afford it. As a budget buy, Fitness recommended trying out the Supreme 90 Day System, which is similar to P90X. Not willing to just take their word for it, I looked it up on Amazon for reviews. I was impressed. Ten people gave it 5 stars and one person gave it 4 stars, and that's as low as it went. For $20, I figured it was worth checking out.

So, I stopped by Target the other day and picked up my own dvd set. Granted, I don't have 90 days, only 60, but hey, every little bit helps right? I'll let you know how I like it in case you're interested in trying it out. I'll keep you posted. Afterall, my super cute new bikini needs to be seen and not covered up with a parka.

My Interview with a Stanley Cup Winner

The Stanley Cup winners have been announced and while I wasn't rooting for either team in particular (well, maybe the Canucks a little, but only so I wouldn't have to listen to Hubs bitch about his team losing), I am happy for one player: Andrew Ference.

Andrew plays defense for the Boston Bruins and is a former Winter Hawk (our local team). Back in high school, I was introduced to the game of hockey and loved it. I had a writing assignment to do for my English class, and we were asked to pick any topic and interview someone about it and my friend Kara Neary jokingly said I should interview a Winter Hawk. We laughed it off, but I kept dwelling on it and really wanted to do it. In all honesty, I chose Andrew because he was a rookie, a good player and the same age as me. And let's face it, he's pretty damn cute. Even back then.

I was surprised to get a call from him saying he'd be willing to meet with me. So I wrote up some questions, grabbed a friend to video tape it and met him on the bleachers at Sunset High School. Wow, so cute. Very gracious and fun to interview. I have no idea what ever happened to the video, which kind of sucks; I'm sure it was taped over by my parents, but I have the transcript of the interview. Here are some of the highlights...

Q: How long have you been playing?
A: Since I was three. I lived on an acreage and we had a rink out by the farms, so I started there.

Q: Did you always want to play hockey?
A: (Shakes head yes) Always have played hockey. There's never been anything bad about it.

Q: What's it like being a local celebrity? (Andrew laughs) You don't consider yourself a celebrity?
A: No, I don't think I'd put it that way, it's just normal. We're just leading a normal life except for playing hockey. There's not too much difference from a normal life.

Q: What's the weirdest thing you ever had to autograph?
A: (Thinking) Let's see... probably a leg, a leg or a dollar bill. You get lots of dollar bills to sign, but a leg was weird. She had the whole teams' autographs all over her leg. (Laughs) You kind of think, 'whoa!'

Q: How does your mom feel about you fighting?
A: (Laughing) She doesn't like it. She hates it when I fight, but she knows why I do it. She knows that because I'm smaller I need to demand more respect. So she understands why I do, but she rather me not. I've never fought in front of her because she'd get all mad. When she's at a game, I won't fight.

Q: How many teeth have you lost?
A: None. My dad's a dentist. No, I haven't lost any. I've lucked out so far.

Q: What are your other interests?
A: Other interests? Um... there's gotta be something. I don't know. Hockey's a big interest. It takes up all my time. Other than that... let's see, I used to snowboard. I did that for seven years, up until this year. There's nowhere to snowboard here. During the summer I play rugby and lacrosse. So everything's kind of sports related.

Q: Do you want to continue with hockey or eventually do something else?
A: I'll go with hockey as far as it takes me. I'd like to go pro. There's so much money and so much involved in hockey. If you can play it and live off it, then that could be your life. Yeah, it'd be perfect.

Q: Did you ever think you'd make it this far?
A: Yeah. It's been the plan.

Q: What advice would you give someone who's striving for a dream?
A: Don't let people tell you that you can't do it. Lots of people told me that I couldn't play hockey because I'm small. Listen to yourself instead of others. Control your own destiny.

And there you have it. Who knew I would be interviewing a Stanley Cup winner at 16? Pretty cool huh?

The Good, The Bad and The WTF?

Because random is fun...

The Good...
So, I've been taking my film acting class for 3 weeks now and lovin' it. I have a great teacher and I'm "finding my motivation." We did monologues last week (I hate monologues), but it went well and yesterday we started scene work, which I prefer. It's so much easier to play off of somebody than to prattle on about yourself (um, unless you're blogging). Every week we are filmed, which is a little hard to watch at the end of class. Whenever my teacher asks how I felt about my performance, all I can think of is "Double chin, double chin, double chin." Ugh. I hit the gym today and did four miles on the treadmill before I had to leave to meet Peri's bus.
In any event, I've been getting great feedback on my scenes which makes me feel that I'm not wasting my time and that maybe there's something to this.

The Bad...
All right, I just have to come out and say it, drivers of German made cars are BAD! I don't know why it is, but 9 out of 10 German car drivers are road Nazis. The irony might be amusing if it weren't so damn annoying. This conclusion is based on years of driving and observation. Seriously, the next time someone cuts you off, tailgates, weaves, speeds, etc, check out the make of the car. Maybe it's just around here but when someone does something rude, inconsiderate or just plain dumb, it's always a Beemer or a VW.
If you happen to be one of these car owners, consider that I might be talking about you. If you're adamant that I couldn't possibly be referring to you, you're a fabulous driver, then maybe I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and you can consider yourself the 1 in 10 that knows how to drive. But I'll be watching you, so don't ride my ass or cut me off because you're only proving me right. :oP

and The WTF...
I'm always checking my online Netflix for new releases or suggestions based on previously watched movies/shows. Imagine my wtf moment when I found this suggestion based on my kids having recently watched the movie Muppets from Space...

"New Suggestions, because you enjoyed Muppets From Space, we recommend you watch Crazy Sexy Cancer! Check it out: Just weeks after being diagnosed with a rare and incurable form of cancer, 31-year-old actress Kris Carr turned the camera on herself as she embarked on the fight of her life. The result is this moving and funny inspirational documentary. In need of experimental treatment, Carr travels the country seeking experts on alternative medicine and, along the way, meets other cancer-stricken women driven to survive. "

I'm not quite sure what the connection is there, but I'll be sure to pass along your recommendation to my kids. But seriously, Netflix, it's like you don't even know me at all.

That's My Lolita

As a frequent Hulu watcher, I've seen my fair share of 30 second commercials, and every once in a while, one will catch my attention. Though, there is no actor dialogue, I know exactly what message Tide was trying to convey.

Original Commercial Dialogue:

Father: Hmm, there's my daughter's hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. It would make the perfect oil rag.

Daughter: Argh! This is so frustrating! I need to be to work in an hour! I have to wear my hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. OMG, did I forget to wash it after my last john? Mom, look! Is that... or was it...?

Mother: Oh don't worry dear, we'll have it clean before your shift. New Tide with Acti-Lift takes care of protein stains and grease monkey fathers. Mwahahaha.

(Rinse, spin, dry)

Daughter: Look Mama, I'm a whore! Thank you for saving my assets.

Mother: That's my Lolita. I put some condoms in your back pocket, just to be safe.

Daughter: Gee, thanks Mom. Better luck next time, Dad. If you'd grow a pair, maybe you'd make me quit my skeezy job or at least realize that being passive aggressive about my wardrobe is so lame. Well, I'm off to work my corner yo!

End Scene.

Anyone else stocking up on Tide? Yeah I know, me too! One should never show up to work a street corner in an already stained mini. Who wants to buy used goods? Thank you, Tide, for allowing me to continue hooking in style.

All Kinds of Cool Stuff

Lots of fun stuff going on!

I was recently featured in The Modern Handmade Child magazine with an interview and photos. Be cure to check it out! I'm fascinating. :oP



Winklepots was also lucky enough to be featured in an Etsy Storque article and email of featured finds over the weekend. That was pretty cool!


And since it's Monday, I'm over at The Mama Dramalogues doling out punishments to my 5 year old. Trust me, it's worth a visit. :o)
A Sign of Punishment