Thursday, April 28, 2011

That's My Lolita

As a frequent Hulu watcher, I've seen my fair share of 30 second commercials, and every once in a while, one will catch my attention. Though, there is no actor dialogue, I know exactly what message Tide was trying to convey.

Original Commercial Dialogue:

Father: Hmm, there's my daughter's hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. It would make the perfect oil rag.

Daughter: Argh! This is so frustrating! I need to be to work in an hour! I have to wear my hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. OMG, did I forget to wash it after my last john? Mom, look! Is that... or was it...?

Mother: Oh don't worry dear, we'll have it clean before your shift. New Tide with Acti-Lift takes care of protein stains and grease monkey fathers. Mwahahaha.

(Rinse, spin, dry)

Daughter: Look Mama, I'm a whore! Thank you for saving my assets.

Mother: That's my Lolita. I put some condoms in your back pocket, just to be safe.

Daughter: Gee, thanks Mom. Better luck next time, Dad. If you'd grow a pair, maybe you'd make me quit my skeezy job or at least realize that being passive aggressive about my wardrobe is so lame. Well, I'm off to work my corner yo!

End Scene.

Anyone else stocking up on Tide? Yeah I know, me too! One should never show up to work a street corner in an already stained mini. Who wants to buy used goods? Thank you, Tide, for allowing me to continue hooking in style.


Marisa Hopkins said...

"Look Mama, I'm a whore!" Bwaahahahahaha! And this is why I love you. You crack me up!

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh. I loved this. You are spot on, too. Why is Dad the only one who doesn't want her walking around flaunting her wares? Way to go, Dad. :)

AlyGatr said...

All she is missing is the Abercrombie and Fitch push up for 8 year olds!


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