Thursday, April 28, 2011

That's My Lolita

As a frequent Hulu watcher, I've seen my fair share of 30 second commercials, and every once in a while, one will catch my attention. Though, there is no actor dialogue, I know exactly what message Tide was trying to convey.

Original Commercial Dialogue:

Father: Hmm, there's my daughter's hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. It would make the perfect oil rag.

Daughter: Argh! This is so frustrating! I need to be to work in an hour! I have to wear my hooch skirt which leaves little to the imagination. OMG, did I forget to wash it after my last john? Mom, look! Is that... or was it...?

Mother: Oh don't worry dear, we'll have it clean before your shift. New Tide with Acti-Lift takes care of protein stains and grease monkey fathers. Mwahahaha.

(Rinse, spin, dry)

Daughter: Look Mama, I'm a whore! Thank you for saving my assets.

Mother: That's my Lolita. I put some condoms in your back pocket, just to be safe.

Daughter: Gee, thanks Mom. Better luck next time, Dad. If you'd grow a pair, maybe you'd make me quit my skeezy job or at least realize that being passive aggressive about my wardrobe is so lame. Well, I'm off to work my corner yo!

End Scene.

Anyone else stocking up on Tide? Yeah I know, me too! One should never show up to work a street corner in an already stained mini. Who wants to buy used goods? Thank you, Tide, for allowing me to continue hooking in style.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Are You There Readers? It's Me, Holly

Alright, I admit it, I'm a horrible blogger and I'm okay with that. The way I see it, if I wrote every single day, you'd get tired of me and I'd run out of things to say. At least this way, I have time to reflect and you don't end up reading about the red sock that found its way into the whites or that I'm having a fat day... again. No, this way definitely works out better for us all. So what could I have possibly been reflecting on for the last six freakin' months!? Must be earth shattering!!

Earth shattering, no, revealing, maybe. I don't have many deep thoughts. Mostly because my memory is so bad that I'll forget the reason I was contemplating before I even get to the good part. I miss my memory. In any event, one of the last times I blogged was on The Mama Dramalogues and I wrote about how I wanted to finally get back into acting and start doing something just for me.

Well, I applied three times to one agent and once to my old agent, and alas, no call backs. Part of me is a little bummed, but a bigger part of me is just relieved. Yes, I am absolutely terrified of success. Which is weird, because most people are afraid of failing. I'm confident I can succeed, but success... now that scares the shit out of me.

Rather than take the agent rejection in a comfy fetal position, I'm enrolling in some film acting classes, something I've never done before. Most of my experience is in community theatre with only one industrial film under my belt. But you know what? I only had 4 auditions with my previous agent; I landed the first one, was first runner up for the second and didn't make the cut for the other two. Not a terrible track record, so I should probably give it another go.

It's been years since I've even done theatre, so I thought taking this acting class would be a great way to update my resume and give me some formal training. Our first class is this Sunday, and while I keep trying to talk myself out of going (there's that fear again), I'm going to suck it up and go. I'll keep you posted! And not just six months from now.

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