Is Vegas the New Sex Ed?

When I heard that Flight of the Conchords was performing in Vegas I thought, "Cool, two birds with one stone. I've never been to Vegas and I'd love to see the Conchords live." Jim hadn't been to Vegas since he was 15, so it was like both of us were Vegas virgins. We booked the ticket, booked the flight and headed out for Memorial weekend, which certainly wasn't an ideal time to visit, but when the Conchords call, you go.

I had a whole list of things to do, and while I didn't get to do them all, it gives us a good excuse to go again. On the list of free things to do was the Show in the Sky at the Rio. I kept reading about how it had all new costumes, songs, choreography and was more exciting than the last one and since our friends were staying at the Rio, we thought we'd catch the 7 o'clock show.

If you haven't seen it, there's a main stage on the floor and floats that run along a ceiling track with additional dancers who throw beads at the crowd towards the end of the show, which is only about 15 minutes. We decided to stand on the second floor balcony for the best chance at beads and to see everything. Oh boy, did we see everything!

There were about four families standing in front of us with 7 kids all ranging from 4-10 years in age. When the show started, the performers looked like this...

Pretty tame, for Vegas. But it took less than a minute before those dresses came off and the dancers looked more like this...

What you don't see, is that at least one of the dancers is wearing assless panties. This show wouldn't normally bother me, but all I could think was, "Why in the Hell are you letting your kids watch this?" And I'm not even referring to the skank wear. Everyone is dancing and gyrating to "Loosen Up My Buttons" by the Pussycat dolls; I'm talking lap dance style and simulated sex scenes. At one point, a giant bed came up from the stage and all of the dancers climbed in. They were all straddling each other and essentially dry humping. One of the parents in front of me, shielded her sons eyes for this scene, but she was the only one and it took this long for any of the parents to be offended on behalf of their kids. The guy next to me had his 4 year old up on his shoulders because his son couldn't see. "Here's a better look at the porn son." In fact, I'm now referring to the show as Baby's First Porn.

I'm not a prude by any means, but seriously, I would NEVER take my kids to see something like that and can't understand why any parent would. Then the beads came and that was the answer. Yes, I can see how exposing your kids to porn would be worth some cheap plastic Mardi Gras beads. Really, the only explanation has to be that one of the kids asked where babies came from and Mom and Dad just looked at the each other and said, "We're going to Vegas" as a way to avoid the talk. "Um, honey, just watch this show, and if you have any questions, I'll answer them afterward. Don't forget to grab some souvenir sex ed beads so you'll always remember where babies come from." Oi vey. I'd love to be in that school room in September when the teacher says, "And what did you do this summer, Timmy?"