Just Press Zero

That's totally what I look like from behind too! Crazy.

You know, I really hate it when there's something wrong with my account, any account, and I get the paper statement with the discrepancy staring me down. Like in one of those old Westerns, and the mistake and I are standing on a dusty road, littered with tumbleweeds, in a showdown. Our arms arched back, fingers poised above our holsters. Who's going to draw first?

It's not the discrepancy that's bothersome, rather it's the customer service 800 number. I find it ironic that they call it customer service. Hardly ever do I find it to be user friendly and rarer than that is being able to talk to a real person. Curse you automation and your condescending voice!! If companies are going to go this route, they always always ALWAYS need the zero option during the first menu spiel. Because 9 out of 10 times, I'm calling because I have an issue that can't be resolved by repeating all of my account information back to me.

Trying to get an answer to your problem sometimes seems like more of a hassle than the discrepancy is worth. Keep my $4, whatever, it's what I would have spent on Exedrin anyway. However, I had to call my mortgage company because they charged me $60 in weird fees, which was more than my monthly payment alone. There was really nothing else I could do... draw!!!

"Thank you for calling us. No really, most customers don't even bother. Please say your account number."

"123456789."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Perhaps you don't speak English as well as I do. Please repeat."

"123456789."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. For Espanol say ocho."

"Zero. Zero, zero, zero! Give me someone to talk to!!"

"I'm sorry, please select from the following menu options. Say 1 for account information. Say 2 for our mailing address. Say 3 to receive our complimentary brochure on why we're so wonderful. Say 4 if you'd like to be transferred to a completely unrelated department. Say 5 if you're ready to go postal and slam your phone into the wall."

"Five!!"

"Thank you. In order to complete your request, I will need further information as well as a kidney...."
Gaaaah! *SLAM*
You may have won this round Voice-automated-pain-in-my-@$$, but I will break through! I will find a way! I will speak to a human being! Because I'll need that $60 to pay for anger management meetings.

YouTube Tuesday!!

Seriously, if you're not watching Burn Notice, you are sooooooo missing out. Action, comedy, suspense and a super hot spy, what could be better? Well, maybe if I was Gabrielle Anwar and acting opposite Jeffrey Donovan, but whatever, this is the next best thing. And remember Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness? Yeah, he's in it too as the wise-cracking friend.
Don't have cable, no worries, Hulu uploads the episodes so you can watch them free online. Yay!

Nice little compilation this YouTuber has put together.

Not a Fan, Sorry, Bite Me :oP

**WARNING**
If you are a fan of Twilight, please avert your eyes. :o)

I admit it, I saw the movie before reading the book and I have to say, the movie was better. But even that's not saying much. I am referring to "Twilight." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, apparently I am one, of only a few, who didn't care for the books. Maybe I need to be an adolescent girl to fully appreciate the my-whole-world-completely-revolves-around-you relationship that is Bella and Edward, but I'm sorry, I found it to be pathetic and a little too needy for my tastes. I also would not let my teenage daughter read this book for fear that she'd think a boy can treat her like crap and she should swoon.

I'm amazed at all the hype this series has received. Were any of these critics reading the same books I was? I understand that a lot of time and effort went into writing them; maybe a little too much. Ms. Meyer is by far, the queen of verbiage excess. The entire series could have been condensed into two books. I felt like I was being pecked to death by mundane details, completely irrelevant to the story, so that a quota could be met. Get to the point already! No one cares about Bella cleaning the kitchen or re-heating dinner. All of the useless info had the opposite effect and only distracted from the story. Like verbal detours on the meandering road to Hell. Stephanie Meyer needs to fire her editor for letting the story drag on for so long and letting numerous typos slide towards the end of each book. Typos are a personal pet peeve, what can I say?

The best character is Jacob, which is why the second book is way better than the first. Well, after the whole whoa-is-me-Bella-sob-fest. That couldn't end soon enough. And please, for the love of God, do not remind me any more that Bella is a freakin' klutz! Got it, after the first five reminders. Again, must have been that damn word quota. Be forewarned, each book is more bizarre than the last until you're cringing through the fourth one. Like watching a horror movie and forgetting to cover your eyes. How will it end? Please tell me everyone dies. They don't, in case you were also holding out hope.

Why did I keep reading, you may ask? I heard it was a good series and had to find out for curiosities sake. But rest assured, I won't be reading them again. I'm not a sadist; I'm a snarkist. :oP

At least I can always count on Buffy!