Thursday, April 30, 2009

Motherhood is a Condition


No really, there are symptoms and everything!

Condition: Motherhood

Symptoms: sore throat, watery eyes, insomnia, shortness of breath, shortness of patience, mood swings and irritability. Symptoms can be mild to moderate and sometimes severe. Studies have shown a direct correlation with the temperament of the child. Mothers of multiple children may also suffer from insanity.

Root Cause: French kissing. For some reason, pregnancy and childbirth were the end results.

Prevention: The only surefire prevention is devotion to a nunnery but this video is also very effective...


Treatment: For those who have already succumbed to The Motherhood, early and aggressive treatment is key. You may find relief using some of these: personal time-outs, chocolate, screaming into a pillow and the occasional martini. Symptoms are likely to come and go with the passing of time, but rest assured, most symptoms will clear up all together in about 18 years.
Bottoms up!

8 comments:

AlyGatr said...

I'm willing to say A LOT of chocolate...and cheesecake...and a few pitchers of margaritas are just the treatments I need...and maybe some earplugs

The Momma said...

AMEN sister! I have been driven to insanity (and beyond) due to "Motherhood". Now where did I leave my chocolate martini???

Kelly Klem said...

That's when you go eye to eye (with an angry face) to the nearest ADULT and in an accusatory tone say, "Please control your child!"
If the behavior is somewhat milder you say aloud, "Who are you and why are you following me?"

but the nice thing, now that my kiddos are 16 (can do laundry), 13 (gives great footrubs), and 3 (mmm...???)-
I care much less about the way I look and enjoy lookin' at them!

Momma J said...

Insanity - that's me with my 3 kids! Hysterical!

ElegantSnobbery said...

When you say 'occasional martini' is that because the rest of the time you are drinking Malibu and coke?

Very funny, Holly. Now if only I could see the side of your kids that you see... because yours were like little angels for 5 entire days (minus the carseat temper-tantrums). And hurray! I actually got to see this video! HIL-freakin'-LARIOUS!!!

Jenn said...

HIlarious, great video too :-)

Chichiboulie said...

I think I need a straw with that! :D

SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

Hahahahhahahaha....can't stop laughing! If u seriously start promoting that video,in 20 years we might reduce our population in ...at least half...LOL

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