Mama Drama Mondays

Taking a break from my usual snarkiness (it's okay, I'll be back); I just felt the need to share something very personal and heartbreaking over on the Mama Dramalogues. Please take a moment and join me over there....

"Take a Moment and Hug Your Kids a Little Tighter"

Feature Friday - Simply Sparkles

Q: Tell us a little about yourself; what makes you so special...
Wow, all of the answers I can come up with sound like I'm going to an AA meeting "Hi, my name is Alyssa and I'm weird". Is everyone clapping for me?? Anyone who knows me understands that I'm more than a little off, but that's...OK. At least that's what I tell myself. I'm originally from Hawaii, but have moved all over the US. Most recently I lived in Boston (and LOVED it) for 7 years, then got moved to Texas...where I'm trying to convince myself I can live without going completely insane. I'm a stay at home mom, with a 3 1/2 year old girl and a 1 1/2 year old boy who keep me on my toes and contribute to my need to be caffeinated at all times. I'm a lover of crafts o plenty and a part time Graduate certificate student at the University of Texas Health Sciences Center in Houston.

Q: What do you make/create?
I make some pretty funky jewelry. If you're looking for a theme in my store...you probably won't find it, except maybe that I like flowers and the color pink. You'll find a lot of stuff made with Swarovski crystals, polymer clay flowers and wire...lots and lots of wire of many colors. I like to create on a whim, so you never know what you're going to find in my store!

I also make sewn accessories...though I will admit, summer school and an unforeseen jewelry making frenzy sort of put my sewing on the back burner. I desperately need to bust out my sewing machine and get some things done before the Fall semester starts.

Now onto the really important questions...

Q: If you were an appliance, what kind of appliance would you be? Why?
My Oster blender. That's pretty much how my mind works...throw a bunch of random stuff in and hit "puree".

Q: Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
If you can believe it, my friend Gina in NYC...on Friday. What can I say, I don't talk on the phone that much!

Q: What's your most embarrassing moment?
Uh...life?
One of the MORE embarrassing moments was when I was in Grad School the first time. I was working full time and taking a summer school night class. The classroom was stadium seating style...you know, each row of tables and chairs were on a riser. I had a habit of sitting in the last chair in the row, towards the top tier. It was getting late (like 8:00 pm on a Friday) and I was exhausted after a long day. I nodded off in my seat and when I jerked awake I started to fall out of my seat and down the stair right next to my feet. My movement was so sudden that the professor stopped in his tracks...mid sentence...then asked if I was OK...which of course caused the ENTIRE class to turn around and look at me. I wanted to DIE.

Q: Movie star crush?
Gerard Butler, baby! I could listen to him talk all day. Oh yeah, and he's not to hard on the eyes either.

Q: Black and white or a hazy grey?
The haziest grey you can imagine. I live life in a fog :)

Q: Who's on your iPod/cd player?
If anyone needed proof of how schizo I am, just look at my iPod play list. I have some really embarrassing corny stuff like The Village People, The Monkees and Air Supply, I have some serious head banging metal stuff like Metallica and Corrosion of Conformity...some icky pop stuff like N'Sync (I know, please forgive me) and The Spice Girls...and a TON of nostalgic 80's and 90's dance music...from my high school dance and dance club days.

Q: If Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter dueled, who would win? Why?
I've said it before...and I'll say it again. Harry, I love you, but take away your wand and Mr. Skywalker will crush you with his Jedi mind tricks. Luke's lightsaber is far flashier than your holly and phoenix feather wand...and he has Han, Chewie and the Millennium Falcon backing him up. You never stood a chance.

Q: Best advice you ever received?
"Study hard so that you'll never have to rely on a man". My dad told me that when I was on my way to college...and what he meant was to learn all I could and make a life for myself so that I could stand on my own two feet, even if I ever found myself all alone. Of course, I've been married for 14 years, but the nice thing is, God forbid, if I ever found myself in the position where I had to take care of myself and the kids all by myself, I'd be able to do it.

Check out more of Alyssa's fun jewelry in her shop!

I Have a Dream

Call me crazy, but I'm looking forward to turning 30. Why? Because not only will I be looking fabulous, as previously mentioned due to all the weight I shall be losing, but because it feels like a fresh start. I've already had one friend ask me if I was dreading it and how scary the big 3-0 must be, but I just had to smile and say, "Nope, my 30's are going to be so much better than my 20's." Besides, having the right attitude is half the battle right?

Yeah, getting older kinda sucks, but there will always be someone younger than you, thinner than you, prettier than you, and what are you going to do about it? Sulk or embrace what you have and make the most it. I'm doing the latter. I want to look great on the outside and feel fab on the inside. I'm taking it a step further and planning to document my fabulousness. Samantha did it in "Sex and the City" and I think I'm up for it. That would be an au naturel photo session, except, I think I'll be taking the pictures and I probably won't be putting them up on the wall in my living room.

On my journey to fab, I'm going to need all of the motivation I can get. You'd think having an upcoming photoshoot and a birthday would be enough, but if I don't document my progress somehow, so that I'm held accountable, it's going to be harder to reach my goal of being fab once I hit 30. Here's the deal, my birthday is November 27th, my goal size is a 6 so I'm guesstimating my weight at about 125 to fit that. I'm currently 145 and a size 10. I need to work out at least 5 days a week. I'm adding a Fab@30 section to my sidebar to document where I'm at. I may be the only one who pays attention to it, but the fact that it's there and that someone else might see it, will make me want to show some progress.

So here I go! Wish me luck! :o)

YouTube Tuesday!!

This is one of my favorite songs. It's beautifully written and performed and I love the video's message about kissing being a general form of affection. I think the little girl dressed as a princess and the mother and baby are especially sweet.
Add this to your relaxation play list because this is a fabulous chill out song. It was also featured in the Sex and the City movie and is on the soundtrack. Ah, bliss. :o)

Mama Drama Mondays

It's my day for Mama Drama-ing. So, join me over there for a post which bears repeating. And repeating. And repeating.

Not So Merry Maid

The sun is shining, the cat is purring and the kids are right outside my bedroom door... screaming. Ah, and so begins another morning. As I drag myself out of bed, I mentally start going through my to-do list: make more korkers, take photos, paint some shirts, design a new business card, work-out.... I open the bathroom door and am met with a pool of water on the floor. Lovely. The kids' new favorite toy is the toilet. I somehow overlooked the appeal but apparently, it's the ideal place for rubber duckies, mermaids and bath toys to go swimming.

After cleaning up the water mess, I go to let the dogs out and find that one of them managed to get out of the kennel and pee not once, but twice on the hardwood floor. Argh! Two more messes to clean up. I start another load of laundry and finish up the dishes, while the girls play in the front room.

"Mommeeeeee, Ryah's being naughty!" I ask Peri what Ryah did and she points to the wall. How the heck did Ryah get a hold of a black crayon?! "Ryah, go sit in timeout." As I scrub the crayon off the wall, Ryah keeps repeating that she'll be a good girl. Nope, as long as I'm scrubbing, you'll be sitting.

After I finish folding laundry, I head upstairs and narrowly miss stepping in cat puke. Seriously!! It's not even 9 am and I'm so done cleaning! Before I can finish cleaning an existing mess, I have a new one to take its place. And so the day goes, then before I know it, it's 7:30 (FINALLY) and the kids go down for the evening. Now I can start on my to-do list! Hm, I can't take photos at night, it's too late to work out, I guess I could paint something but that would require cleaning up afterward. Cleaning? Um, no thanks, let's see what's on Hulu, I'm sure I'll have time tomorrow........

YouTube Tuesday!!

I need to start drinking Nestea. My best bowling score is 53. :o)

Bully Beatdown

**Warning, I'm about to completely destroy my "super cute" blog image. If I haven't already. :oP

I don't have cable, so I have to catch up on the latest/greatest shows using the internet. I was surfing the MTV site and came across a show called Bully Beatdown. I wasn't going to click it, because it sounded kind of mean, but then I thought, hey, maybe these bullies really deserved it. *click*

The show is hosted by Mixed Martial Arts fighter Jason 'Mayhem' Miller and the premise is that the victims submit their stories to the show for review and hopefully get picked. Visions of high school nerds getting swirlies and wedgies came to mind, but most of the victims had far worse. Little brothers beating up big brothers, ex-boyfriends picking on the new boyfriends, even a deadbeat roommate who never paid rent and knocked around his roomies. Yeah, I kind of agreed that someone needed to step in and take these bullies down a notch.

Enter Mayhem. He calls out the bully and challenges him to a fight against an MMA fighter and if the bully wins, he'll get $10,000. If he loses, the money goes straight to the victim. Sounds fair to me. What's amazing is that these bullies actually think they can win against a professional fighter in a cage match! Seriously? Have they even seen those fighters? Jason tends to fan the flame by playing along with the bully; letting him believe that he even has a chance. Though, I don't think any amount of convicing could change their minds.

The show culminates into a final cage match between the bully and the MMA fighter. There are two rounds, each worth $5,000; every time the bully taps out, the victim gets $1,000. Sounds a bit barbaric and I'm normally against violence, however, after meeting these bullies, you're reading to take them down yourself. Talk about vindication and a dose of their own medicine. But will they reform?

So go ahead, get your cage match on and root for the underdog! In this case, the victim and his MMA avenger. :o)

Feature Friday - Just Charming

Q: Tell us a little about yourself; what makes you so special...
I'm Lisa Phillips-Riser; AKA SuperMom! My superpower used to be making milk, now it's making breakfast, lunch and dinner (most days) and keeping the house clean (mostly) while still finding time to ride bikes with my hubby, dance with our son, and make LOTS of jewelry!

Q: What do you make/create?
I design and create affordable jewelry for any occasion, to everyday!

Now onto the really important questions...

Q: Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
The last person I spoke to on the phone was my hubby, Glenn: "I'm almost home with the groceries -- How about a hand?"

Q: Movie star crush?
My movie star crush would have to be Johnny Depp (HOT, dirty pirate!)

Q: Who's on your iPod/cd player?
I'm wearing out the new Dave Matthews Band CD "Big Whiskey" -- Every song is GREAT!

Q: If Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter dueled, who would win? Why?
If Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter dueled, Harry could just get naked like he did in Equus and Luke would be so distracted, he'd forget what he was doing......POOF! He's done for!

Q: Best advice you ever received?
The best advice I didn't always follow: Put your baby to bed BEFORE he falls asleep....!

Check out both of Lisa's stores at JustCharming and JustEarrings!

Because It's Funny

Fishbone black canvas belt by mymimi

It's been a while since I went "shopping" on Etsy and I just had to share some fun finds that I dug up!

Don't know about you, but I'm lovin' Fat Ninja by interrupt


This is perfect if you've always wanted a pet slug but didn't want to deal with the slime when you cuddled! Knit your own! Garden Slug Pattern by cheezombie

The perfect sentiment for twins. You ordered one and got the other for free! Bonus! Embroidered onesies by BabyBears


Take a note from Gollum and protect that turkey on rye with this convenient back-away-from-my-lunch-you-thieving-co-worker lunch bag! My Precious by sammo.


Couldn't have said it better myself. Birthday Card by howfab.

Feature Friday - Bad Cat Jewelry

Q: Tell us a little about yourself; what makes you so special...
I'm a SAHM now after working 10 years as a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist. I got burned out big time and felt that the job just wasn't fun or creative. Thankfully I got knocked up and my husband and I agreed that being at home with the baby (now 5) was the way to go.

Q: What do you make/create?
I create one of a kind jewelry using semiprecious stones, lampwork, swarovski crystals, and vintage beads with sterling silver. Its unique because I very rarely make the same exact thing twice, because I get bored. I often do variations on a theme. I also donate to Specially for Children in Austin, Texas. So I'm still helping kids and their families, just not directly.

Now onto the really important questions...

Q: If you were an appliance, what kind of appliance would you be? Why?
A food processer...it just pulverizes anything.

Q: Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My friend, Libby.

Q: What's your most embarrassing moment?
There are so many I can't quite decide which one to pick out. It's all become a blur. I have a penchant for tripping and falling over my own two feet. So much so, that my husband no longer asks me if I'm okay. I have hit the pavement, literally, in almost every major city in Europe.

Q: Movie star crush?
Hugh Jackman. He appears to be a family man, which makes him soooo much more attractive.

Q: Black and white or a hazy grey?
A lovely hazy, pearly grey.

Q: Who's on your iPod/cd player?
Who isn't? I have music for meditation, to Gregorian Chants, to Classical, Pop, Punk, Classic R & R, Country, Alternative...its a musical mixed salad.

Q: If Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter dueled, who would win? Why?
Okay, two of my favorite characters up against each other, this is tough. I think it would have to be Luke Skywalker, because he's got some major Jedi stuff going on. I would like to think that Harry Potter would put up a damn good fight though.

Q: Best advice you ever received?
Be true to yourself.


To view more of Bad Cat's lovely jewelry, visit her store!

Just Press Zero

That's totally what I look like from behind too! Crazy.

You know, I really hate it when there's something wrong with my account, any account, and I get the paper statement with the discrepancy staring me down. Like in one of those old Westerns, and the mistake and I are standing on a dusty road, littered with tumbleweeds, in a showdown. Our arms arched back, fingers poised above our holsters. Who's going to draw first?

It's not the discrepancy that's bothersome, rather it's the customer service 800 number. I find it ironic that they call it customer service. Hardly ever do I find it to be user friendly and rarer than that is being able to talk to a real person. Curse you automation and your condescending voice!! If companies are going to go this route, they always always ALWAYS need the zero option during the first menu spiel. Because 9 out of 10 times, I'm calling because I have an issue that can't be resolved by repeating all of my account information back to me.

Trying to get an answer to your problem sometimes seems like more of a hassle than the discrepancy is worth. Keep my $4, whatever, it's what I would have spent on Exedrin anyway. However, I had to call my mortgage company because they charged me $60 in weird fees, which was more than my monthly payment alone. There was really nothing else I could do... draw!!!

"Thank you for calling us. No really, most customers don't even bother. Please say your account number."

"123456789."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Perhaps you don't speak English as well as I do. Please repeat."

"123456789."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. For Espanol say ocho."

"Zero. Zero, zero, zero! Give me someone to talk to!!"

"I'm sorry, please select from the following menu options. Say 1 for account information. Say 2 for our mailing address. Say 3 to receive our complimentary brochure on why we're so wonderful. Say 4 if you'd like to be transferred to a completely unrelated department. Say 5 if you're ready to go postal and slam your phone into the wall."

"Five!!"

"Thank you. In order to complete your request, I will need further information as well as a kidney...."
Gaaaah! *SLAM*
You may have won this round Voice-automated-pain-in-my-@$$, but I will break through! I will find a way! I will speak to a human being! Because I'll need that $60 to pay for anger management meetings.

YouTube Tuesday!!

Seriously, if you're not watching Burn Notice, you are sooooooo missing out. Action, comedy, suspense and a super hot spy, what could be better? Well, maybe if I was Gabrielle Anwar and acting opposite Jeffrey Donovan, but whatever, this is the next best thing. And remember Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness? Yeah, he's in it too as the wise-cracking friend.
Don't have cable, no worries, Hulu uploads the episodes so you can watch them free online. Yay!

Nice little compilation this YouTuber has put together.

Not a Fan, Sorry, Bite Me :oP

**WARNING**
If you are a fan of Twilight, please avert your eyes. :o)

I admit it, I saw the movie before reading the book and I have to say, the movie was better. But even that's not saying much. I am referring to "Twilight." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, apparently I am one, of only a few, who didn't care for the books. Maybe I need to be an adolescent girl to fully appreciate the my-whole-world-completely-revolves-around-you relationship that is Bella and Edward, but I'm sorry, I found it to be pathetic and a little too needy for my tastes. I also would not let my teenage daughter read this book for fear that she'd think a boy can treat her like crap and she should swoon.

I'm amazed at all the hype this series has received. Were any of these critics reading the same books I was? I understand that a lot of time and effort went into writing them; maybe a little too much. Ms. Meyer is by far, the queen of verbiage excess. The entire series could have been condensed into two books. I felt like I was being pecked to death by mundane details, completely irrelevant to the story, so that a quota could be met. Get to the point already! No one cares about Bella cleaning the kitchen or re-heating dinner. All of the useless info had the opposite effect and only distracted from the story. Like verbal detours on the meandering road to Hell. Stephanie Meyer needs to fire her editor for letting the story drag on for so long and letting numerous typos slide towards the end of each book. Typos are a personal pet peeve, what can I say?

The best character is Jacob, which is why the second book is way better than the first. Well, after the whole whoa-is-me-Bella-sob-fest. That couldn't end soon enough. And please, for the love of God, do not remind me any more that Bella is a freakin' klutz! Got it, after the first five reminders. Again, must have been that damn word quota. Be forewarned, each book is more bizarre than the last until you're cringing through the fourth one. Like watching a horror movie and forgetting to cover your eyes. How will it end? Please tell me everyone dies. They don't, in case you were also holding out hope.

Why did I keep reading, you may ask? I heard it was a good series and had to find out for curiosities sake. But rest assured, I won't be reading them again. I'm not a sadist; I'm a snarkist. :oP

At least I can always count on Buffy!